FAQ
Place holder until my esteemed partner and I either get actual questions (which would imply readers– hooray!) or we come up with legitimate questions in anticipation of having actual readers.
Why did Coke change?
Depends on your context. Although it is not logical, you can say the end result was what motivated the original idea. As a result of the announced “change,” Coke received a huge amount of free press, re-emphasized brand loyalty, and confirmed its identity as the de-facto “Platonic” soda.
Who shot JR?
Kristin, his sister-in-law and mistress, father of his child. Nevermind the hype—this was huge in that it registered as a kind of attempted regicide, echoing American disillusionment with world leaders and in general the cult of personality. Whereas we use to revere the rich and powerful, now we hate them and hold up their slayers and heroes.
Nah, I’m just bullshittin’ you. It was Kristin, though.
What is the sound of one hand clapping?
Let’s use the Socratic method to answer this one. What is sound?
Energy in the form of wave lengths at specific vibrations which can usually be detected by ears.
What causes sound?
Vibration, often as the result of an inelastic collision.
Do these vibrations occur even if they are undetected?
Yes. If a tree falls in the forest, the collision it makes with the forest floor still causes vibration.
Can I say the sound of something is the result of it making a collision
Probably, Yes.
Does one hand clapping make a collision?
No.
What is the sound of something that does not make a sound?
It is the Platonic ideal of sound stripped of inelegant ties to perceived reality.
What is the sound of one hand clapping?
The platonic ideal of one hand clapping stripped of an actual experience. Right?
Nah, pretty much the opposite.
Is there a God?
Short answer: Maybe.
Long answer: this all depends on a variety of factors. Just discussing the question requires a consensus of nomenclature that philosophers have been arguing about for literally thousands of years. What is a God? What is IS?
More illuminating is the fact that you’re even asking the question at all. Wrapped in the query is the notion of personal existence, purpose, and ultimate destination. For example, you can’t ask a question about things you don’t know about, a nice little irony. You have never thought to ask: is there a fluttergibit? That’s because you have never even heard of them (I made them up). And now you DO know there might be one, and you could ask me, but just because I tell you, will you believe me?
Since you are not me, you can’t be 100% certain I am telling you the truth—I could be lying, or I might not even know that I don’t know! The only way you would know if I am telling the truth is if you already knew the truth yourself.
But you have already heard of this idea of “god,” and now you want to know if there is one—more or less proving there’s a you. And if you feel any kind of anxiety because you realize you won’t ever know the answer, you’ve proven there’s a disconnect between yourself and others (whether THEY exist or not). All by asking the question, and thinking about what it means to ask the question in the first place.
If you want to take it one step further, you could say that the answer to, “is there a god” lies in the resolution of knowing that you exist and the anxiety of your separation from the rest of existence. This resolution would come when you become one with God, which is exactly what pretty much every religion promises. The Buddhists call this enlightenment, or nirvana.
So is there a god? You’ll know when you find out.
Watchoo talkin ‘bout, Willis?
Oh, Arnold. I’m establishing a point of conflict. The audience was drawn in by your naivete, and has identified with your optimism. But you need to experience character growth, by having that does not fit in to your world-view come into play, so that you can learn something which makes you a little bit more wise than you were before. The audience gets to take this journey with you, and learn the same lesson without having the actually literal pain that you as a fictional character go through. This is a kind of catharsis.
Can we have a FAQ that’s culturally relevant AFTER the year 1985?
Yes. See next FAQ.
WTF?
This is all speculation, but” What the fuck” is the same as saying “What the hell?”, which itself comes from “What in the hell?” I am assuming that “fuck” was swapped in for “hell,” because in English, we can sometimes swap around so-called vulgarities since they serve as synonyms on the level of being vague place holders for other parts of speech when expressing things emotionally. So, if WTF was originally “What in the hell?” then it was a question used to express confusion, especially when faced with something jarring, bizarre, or just plain weird.
Of course, all of this stems from considering something outside of its context. We’ve all seen headlines like “Man murders brother during fight over potato chip,” but we’ve all also been in situations where things became heated or escalated to outrageous proportions, and while it makes perfect sense why we became so angry, the so-called “origin” of the disagreement makes the end result seem unreasonable.
When we say WTF? We are really saying “I don’t recognize the context that would make this acceptable.” In other words, the best answer to WTF is: “You had to be there.” In fact, I am now invoking the following as a meme: YHTBT, which shall be pronounced, “Yohatbut.” If someone says “WTF,” to you, just shrug and reply “Yohatbut.”